Pause

Pause

"Victor, I wonder if we shouldn't do snack sacks anymore," I said. I had been thinking about pausing for the last several days, but I didn't expect it to just come out like that this morning. My shoulders sank. "For the summer," I quickly added to quell my rising heartbeat.

"Yeah, I think so," he said more quickly than I expected.

"Why?" I said wondering if this was the end of the project altogether.

"Because snack time is too early and I don't think you should spend all this time making a snack sack when I don't need it," he said very maturely.  I was impressed. I couldn't have said it better myself. He had heard me make similar comments the past few mornings about his summer program. By the time we get there right after he eats breakfast, they are already eating snacks.

"I agree. So, no snack sack today," I said with a sigh. It really didn't make much sense to send a snack sack anymore in the summertime.

Not knowing if yesterday's was the last, we reminisced on some of our favorites. I was quick to point out the ones he had done himself, like the Skippyjon Jones and the bouncy castle. His face brightened as he recounted how he had done those all by himself. He's such a cute boy!

I took this empty picture of the kitchen table to mark this pause. It made me very sad to do so. Despite the ups and downs during the last year's worth of mornings, I love this tradition we've created and he does too. It has been a wonderful experience sharing some creativity with Victor each and every morning.

More than the art, what I love most about our mornings are our interactions and his spirit. I learn new things everyday just by listening to him. Like this morning when he came to my bedside as I was debating whether or not to get up yet. I lifted up the covers inviting him in. He plopped down and leaned up toward me.

"Dad, did you like Monsters University?" he asked.

"Yeah, I did. Did you?"

"Yeah. But I got a little scared."

"Oh yeah? What part?"

"The part with the humans."

It didn't take me long to process that. In the movie, the monsters Mike and Sully, end up in the human world. The scene is dark and ominous as the humans look to move in on them. I thought it felt kind of scary too as we watched it. The humans were presented much scarier than the monsters and he noticed. "Hmm. Interesting," I said. His breathing became heavier and he was asleep within a minute snuggled up next to me for warmth and comfort. I hugged him tightly.

Even if we don't ever draw another snack sack, at least we'll still have moments like that. For that I am grateful.